Guy Troubles
4:41 p.m. & 11/19/2003

Sorry about the hatius scare. My computer was giving my quite some troubles. It was dead for a day. I did get it up again however. Proves to you how much of a computer genius I am. Hah.

Anyhow now to my little diary. I went to Jordan's house on Friday, I got to spend time on the phone, quite a bit of time on the phone, with Brian and Alex. Whom might I say are crazy, however I was crazy too, the next morning and part of the night. Saturday we all went outside to Jordan's yard and just messed around with my guard equipment. Then my mom called and told me that she wanted me to come home since it was already three the next day, wow time goes by when you're having fun! Hah. So I went home around three and then dad made dinner for a change.

Yeah exciting... eh?

Anyhow now onward. I've been thinking about my crush, I even wrote a... I don't know what to call it, sort-of a note, to no one really. I feel I've been obsessing so I'll just write it on here:

I don't want to be obsessed. I don't want to become attached, I don't really know why though. I'm afriad. He likes someone else, and has absolutely no interest in me. I doubt I'd actually make a good girlfriend anyhow. I think I'm just gonna give up. I never felt I had a chance with him, and I still don't. I don't feel good enough for any guy, especially him. I think I'll just... stop. I'm tired of caring, tired of trying, tired of trying to get some fucking guy to care when in reality, he doesn't, and never will. I don't feel suitable for any guy. Period.

Yeah that's what I wrote. Sad, but true. I don't feel good enough for him, he does have someone else on his mind. So I think I should just give up! I mean I'm getting no where! We're still just friends, maybe better than before, but still just friends.

Anyhow, I feel I'm really obsessing now. I was told I wasn't before, and that I kept it well hidden, however, now... I'm just kind-of, obsessed. Now people tell me yeah okay maybe you are a bit obsessed. All well.

Okay I'm done talking about him. It only depresses me more to think about how much I don't have a chance.

Well Amy wants me to go see Cat in the Hat on Friday. I will be going with a bunch of people... ummm... Amy, Me, Danielle, and Jordan. Possibly Brian and Alex. Cat in the Hat. Hah fun stuff.

Okay well I must go, sorry to disappoint you all, coming back after a long break with a short entry.

Until Next Time!

~Amy



Until Next Time My Dear,
<3 Amy

past && present